My son just announced he wants to learn how to wipe his own butt. That would make two of us.

Wish me luck. I'm playing FIFA for the first time in months. I'm going to get my butt kicked in manager mode.

Tom Cruise the butt of a joke on new spoof internet ad - http://tinyurl.com/ykf33wo

Toronto TTC riders R incredible pigs @RecruitingH2H - They don't know the meaning of a line - butt in like crazy - leave garbage all over

@crazyazian hey sexy biotch what the heck are you up to today hey take ur butt in the kitchen & make me a pot pie

@Flag_Mtn_Hkrs I do like that pic of the Grand Canyon... I need to get my butt out there someday to see it.

Previous tweet reminds me to get my butt in gear and buy my tix to SLC for January. I <3 #ORWinter

Someone tell this fever to go away,like,now.It's gonna snow here (which is a rarity)& I want to play in it with my kids ¬ feel like butt.

@Pauho Oh very, it's retty close by. If he is there now he must be freezing his butt off!

brazil education system, <a href="http://celebrityaksdxwzw.typepad.com/blog/">jessica alba butt</a>, %]], <a ...http://tinyurl.com/yhkjx27

RT @MaximusPaynicus Quote of the Day: "If she doesn't give you the butt, she doesn't love you." ~ Richard L. Walker (1911-2009)

Oh yea....#caps kicked butt last night.... too cool

I call this Live Photoshopping for butts! LOL @huffingtonpost: Victoria's Secret? 20 Layers Of Butt Makeup http://bit.ly/6jDQMi

Instead of writing "student is undisciplined", may I write "parents need swift kick up the butt!", please?

@VetLovingPetsHB I can't believe you took a pic of my butt by those bar stools. Shame on you! hee hee

http://twitpic.com/s1uh9 - @Royal_3 In your defense I know that squirrels can get crazy sometimes. here's one that wanted to kick my butt a

@johneryan well get yer butt in bed! <lol> I need to as well.

@Scott_Manesis I need to get my butt in bed. Gotta get up early to get to jersey.

@HeyAmaretto yr biz logo - roflol..no way! that's just looking for trouble. you could end up with a myspace.com on yr butt

Rode 11.81 miles in 52 mins and felt good. New saddle equals new lessons in butt-atomy.

@thriftymommy it just looks too unreal. Also I know those shoes won't make my butt look like that. Lol

@typefaster good for you on the Wii fit & EA Active - I have them, and you've motivated me to get off my butt and actually use them more!

@Sianz nice photos - really crisp sky, sone great angles & a butt gag!

@LisaMarieMary I forgive you this time LMAO but hurry your butt up! You also have email from me to respond to <3

Still feeling under the weather... this cold is kicking my butt!

Okay, it is officially time for me to get off my butt, get dressed, pick the kids up from after school basketball & go teach

@TheJenATX Naw, girl, it's ME doin' the BOOYAH! And the WOO-HOO. And the general butt-kicking. :)

RT @chrishogg: Victoria's Secret Angel says runway models wear 20 layers of butt makeup http://bit.ly/5FjSGE

Has anyone watched Miss Swan from MadTV? I think she's so hilarious! OMG! I laughed my butt off last night watching YouTube videos on her.

Tool Gets Shank Stuck Up His Butt
Just when you think you’ve heard it all, along comes a tool like Rance Johnson. Rance, a gang member who is being held at the Merced County Main Jail for allegedly shooting a 17-year-old male back in September, approached a corrections official on...

@jmp5329 whoa! you went all out! Okay, now when will you be playing online so I can whup your butt? :P

@nephari Congrats for officially graduating to hardcore roller derby chick. I'm proud of your butt-kicking achievements.

Soccer Kick Fail
Submitted through the FAIL UploaderThis video is also viewable at: MySpaceTV | DailyMotion

the plan was to update my papers and work my butt off..and here i am, enslaved by twitter, tumblr, facebook and my blog once again...argh!!!

O_o Victoria's Secret? 20 Layers Of Butt Makeup HuffPost - http://bit.ly/6jDQMi

Anw, i had a gr8 day spent w smelly butt. laugh non stop siol, i swear! Hahaha!

@ChefMark I wish I lived closer to be a taste tester, that sounds amazing. But my butt is thankful that I don't.

Got a good chuckle courtesy of IAC_Heather today: Her Butt is picky: http://ow.ly/Ia5X (yes it's rated G)

@google releases new mirror that shows if your site's butt really does look fat in those jeans http://bit.ly/5Bk2bL (RT @dannysullivan)

@google releases new mirror that shows if your site's butt really does look fat in those jeans http://bit.ly/5Bk2bL

Kicking butt and taking names this morning. Except for the taking names part. Seems unnecessary.

She doesn't look like she will do much till you get out there and she kicks your butt - Said about My daughter by her XC coach @ banquet :)

I heard a rumor that Google Wave will be kicking twitters butt in future developments! It's still a secret :)

I worked my butt off today! I just got home and it's gone!!

@AmberStrocel What a nice description. I admit I wasn't thinking that when I slipped on my butt on the slippery grass this A.M.

@TheBeautyChick3 I feel the same way I should be in bed, yet I am get overtired and then drag my butt out of bed in the morn. Must change

Former Miss Argentina dies after cosmetic butt surgery. http://bit.ly/6LPVfh

Thank goodness for butt warming seats in cars!!!