March 15, 2008 5:04 am
JOKE: During the
Great Depression,
there was a man who
walked into a bar
one day. He went up
to the bartender and
said, "Bartender,
I'd like to buy the
house a round of
drinks."
The bartender said,
"That's fine, but
we're in the middle
of the Depression,
so I'll need to see
some money first."
The guy pulled out a
huge wad of bills
and set them on the
bar. The bartender
can't believe what
he's seeing. "Where
did you get all that
money?" asked the
bartender.
"I'm a professional
gambler," replied
the man.
The bartender said,
"There's no such
thing! I mean, your
odds are fifty-fifty
at best, right?"
"Well, I only bet on
sure things," said
the guy.
"Like what?" asked
the bartender.
"Well, for example,
I'll bet you fifty
dollars that I can
bite my right eye,"
he said.
The bartender
thought about it.
"Okay," he said.
So, the guy pulled
out his false right
eye and bit it.
"Aw, you screwed
me," said the
bartender, and paid
the guy his $50.
"I'll give you
another chance. I'll
bet you another
fifty dollars that I
can bite my left
eye," said the
stranger.
The bartender
thought again and
said, "Well, I know
you're not blind, I
mean, I watched you
walk in here. I'll
take that bet."
So, the guy pulled
out his false teeth
and bit his left
eye.
"Aw, you screwed me
again!" protested
the bartender.
"That's how I win so
much money,
bartender. I'll just
take a bottle of
your best scotch in
lieu of the fifty
dollars," said the
man. With that, the
guy went to the back
room and spent the
better part of the
night playing cards
with some of the
locals. After many
hours of drinking
and card playing, he
stumbled up to the
bar. Drunk as a
skunk, he said,
"Bartender, I'll
give you one last
chance. I'll bet you
five hundred dollars
that I can stand on
this bar on one foot
and piss into that
whiskey bottle on
that shelf behind
you without spilling
a drop.
" The bartender once
again pondered the
bet. The guy
couldn't even stand
up straight on two
feet, much less one.
"Okay, you're on,"
he said.
The guy climbed up
on the bar, stood on
one leg, and began
pissing all over the
place. He hit the
bar, the bartender,
himself, but not a
drop made it into
the whiskey bottle.
The bartender was
ecstatic. Laughing,
the bartender said,
"Hey pal, you owe me
five hundred
dollars!"
The guy climbed down
off the bar and
said, "That's okay.
I just bet each of
the guys in the card
room a thousand
bucks each that I
could piss all over
you and the bar and
still make you
laugh!" http:
/ / makesyoulaugh.
blogspot. com/