My family is a little more “Osbournes” than “Osmonds”, which is just fine by me because the Osmonds suck. I... more

My family is a little more “Osbournes” than “Osmonds”, which is just fine by me because the Osmonds suck. I’m fairly certain that my kids are headed for serious long-term therapy because of my stellar parenting skills, but we’re at 9 years and counting and they still have all of their fingers and toes. Surely that counts for something.

I’m a rocker mom, which is kinda like a soccer mom, but way cooler. I don’t drive a mini-van and I swear like a trucker and smoke like a chimney, which is probably why the PTA moms never invite me to weekly coffee or let me drive in the car pool. Of course it could be because I can most often be seen wearing my sweats, slippers and my fuzzy pink bathrobe…which I totally rock like no one’s business. That’s me, Merritt. Queen of All Things.