Our reasons (which are sometimes motives) for keeping a stressful belief can also be seen as a list of unmet needs: "I need to be right." "I need to be in control." "I need a purpose." "I need you to listen to me.".
Topics: Byron Katie, Carol Skolnick, inquiry, needs, payoffs, Question Three, subquestions, The Work, The Work of Byron Katie

{"title":"Why We Believe, Part 3: Unmet Needs, or a Tantrum?","post_url":"http:\/\/soulsurgery.blogspot.com\/2009\/10\/why-we-believe-part-3-unmet-needs-or.html","feed_url":"http:\/\/soulsurgery.blogspot.com\/feeds\/posts\/default?alt=rss","author":"ClearLifeCarol","date":"2009-10-14 11:40:00","summary":"Our reasons (which are sometimes motives) for keeping a stressful belief can also be seen as a list of unmet needs: \"I need to be right.\" \"I need to be in control.\" \"I need a purpose.\" \"I need you to listen to me.\"."}

When a client (or I myself) can't easily answer the Question Three subquestion, "Why do you hold this belief? How is it serving you?" I use this additional subquestion: "What do you fear would happen if you didn't believe this...
Topics: Byron Katie, Carol Skolnick, Carol Skolnick inquiry, payoffs, Question Three, subquestions, The Work, The Work of Byron Katie

{"title":"Why We Believe, Part 2: When the Payoff Is Hard to Find","post_url":"http:\/\/soulsurgery.blogspot.com\/2009\/09\/why-we-believe-part-2-when-payoff-is.html","feed_url":"http:\/\/soulsurgery.blogspot.com\/feeds\/posts\/default?alt=rss","author":"ClearLifeCarol","date":"2009-09-23 08:54:00","summary":"When a client (or I myself) can't easily answer the Question Three subquestion, \"Why do you hold this belief? How is it serving you?\" I use this additional subquestion: \"What do you fear would happen if you didn't believe this..."}

In question number three of The Work of Byron Katie, "How do you react when you believe this thought?" we sometimes use a subquestion, "Why do you hold this (stressful) belief?" In other words, what is the payoff for holding that...
Topics: Byron Katie, Carol Skolnick, Carol Skolnick inquiry, payoffs, Question Three, The Work, The Work of Byron Katie

{"title":"Why We Believe, Part 1: Are You Being Served?","post_url":"http:\/\/soulsurgery.blogspot.com\/2009\/09\/why-we-believe-part-1-are-you-being.html","feed_url":"http:\/\/soulsurgery.blogspot.com\/feeds\/posts\/default?alt=rss","author":"ClearLifeCarol","date":"2009-09-22 13:49:00","summary":"In question number three of The Work of Byron Katie, \"How do you react when you believe this thought?\" we sometimes use a subquestion, \"Why do you hold this (stressful) belief?\" In other words, what is the payoff for holding that..."}

Those of you who receive my newsletter may have noticed my Clear Life Solutions tag line, "Open your mind to a limitless life." That is an invitation to something I, as a work-in-progress, invite myself to as I invite you to it...and it is...
Topics: belief, benefits, Byron Katie, Carol Skolnick, deepening inquiry, inquiry, payoffs, Question Three, The School for The Work, The Work of Byron Katie

{"title":"Why We Believe: A New Series of Articles for Deepening Inquiry","post_url":"http:\/\/soulsurgery.blogspot.com\/2009\/09\/why-we-believe-new-series-of-articles.html","feed_url":"http:\/\/soulsurgery.blogspot.com\/feeds\/posts\/default?alt=rss","author":"ClearLifeCarol","date":"2009-09-22 12:37:00","summary":"Those of you who receive my newsletter may have noticed my Clear Life Solutions tag line, \"Open your mind to a limitless life.\" That is an invitation to something I, as a work-in-progress, invite myself to as I invite you to it...and it is..."}

Q: I have been feeling depressed for some time now, and the fear of fear, anxiety and depression has come up for me. As I question thoughts like "I shouldn't be anxious," "I shouldn't be fearful," or "People shouldn't.
Topics: Byron Katie, Carol Skolnick, Carol Skolnick inquiry, depression, shoulds, The Work, The Work of Byron Katie

{"title":"Ask a Facilitator: Turning Around "Shoulds"","post_url":"http:\/\/soulsurgery.blogspot.com\/2009\/09\/ask-facilitator-turning-around-shoulds.html","feed_url":"http:\/\/soulsurgery.blogspot.com\/feeds\/posts\/default?alt=rss","author":"ClearLifeCarol","date":"2009-09-03 13:42:00","summary":"Q: I have been feeling depressed for some time now, and the fear of fear, anxiety and depression has come up for me. As I question thoughts like \"I shouldn't be anxious,\" \"I shouldn't be fearful,\" or \"People shouldn't."}